I used to think these thoughts were normal
as I felt the pressure of the world, as it swirled
in my conflicted heart and mind of turmoil.
I knew somewhere deep down it must be true
that I had a lot to live for. Even if I wasn't sure -
suicide was an action I knew I couldn't undo.
One day I heard these sentiments reflected in a song
And I realized a decade has gone by since these thoughts haunted my mind
With so much to live for, they simply didn't belong.
I began to wonder, were they really common, as I once had thought.
Does everyone really think like this, about stepping into the abyss?
Or were those suicidal feelings I had fought?
So I've pondered these thoughts I'd kept hidden.
If my mind had stalled, could I have let myself fall?
Could these dark thoughts return unbidden?
Could they?
I didn't know at the time what my heart was fighting
That my soul had been hijacked, my mind attacked,
Not knowing how my world needed righting
I didn't know that there was love and happiness to treasure
If I left behind my narrow life of brainwashed strife
And embraced a wonder beyond all measure
Now I smile at my son in the rear-view mirror - elation
And I show my friends the passenger bridge of my hometowns ridge
And gaze over the edge of the cliff at God's imagination.
And there are no ifs.
No ifs.
